If not exclusivity talk has ensued, then you are not my boyfriend. I don't need a non-boyfriend break-up talk. I am fine with the diss and dismiss.0
I was recently informed that I am mature enough to have a civil conversation with someone I no longer wish to date regardless of whether or not I was exclusively dating them. “The non-boyfriend break-up? The awkward “we were never really together, so why are we having this talk” talk? Oh I totally disagree,” I responded adamantly.
I went on to say that break-up talks are not necessary unless exclusively dating. See also: Boyfriend and Girlfriend. That means I have directly expressed interest in either 1) Sex with you and no one else but you, which means neither of us can sleep with someone else but are allowed to go on dates, or 2) Number one plus exclusively dating you and no one else but you.
If none of these words have not emerged from my full, pretty lips, or I have not agreed to them, then I will see other people as the opportunities present. Sidenote: Personally, I like men who bring this up first. Not the second date because that equals crazy, but I like a man with relationship conviction. Regardless of my stance, I am flattered to be the object of said desire and think highly of your self-awareness and courage. If no talk has ensued, then you are not my boyfriend, and I am not your girlfriend. I don’t need a non-boyfriend break-up talk. I am fine with the diss and dismiss.
But my friends rejected, spat on and kicked this standpoint. So I’m thinking, Haven’t these people ever seen He’s Just Not That Into You? If a guy likes you, he will call/text/email you. In most cases, he will do all of the above. He will schedule time to see you and ask about your week. He will measure what you like and don’t like. He will remember at least something you said. He will respond to your inquiries in a timely fashion. If he doesn’t email you back about your friend’s broken finger, he is probably busy at work. If he doesn’t email you back about your date on Saturday night, he probably doesn’t like you.
The same goes for you. When you like a guy, let him know. If you honestly forget to text him back after he asks you to dinner on Thursday night… You get it. You would never forget if you liked the guy. If either party made a mistake by failing to provide the proper amount of attention or clear communication, and this can happen at first with the varying personalities and the male species insane ability to compartmentalize, then give it another try.
And most importantly, hold yourself in high regard. When it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. No one is too busy. No one is too dense. No one “has a lot on his mind” all the time. (Because srsly, the President has a lot more on his mind than your paper-pushing date and he still goes on dates.) If you are ruminating excessively over a near stranger, then let it go. In my opinion, you don’t even have to tell him. If he’s sees the error of his way, he will come back. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t smart enough for you anyway. There are a billion men in this world. Actually, there are more.
Posted by Emma Dinzebach at 12:00 AM
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