MONEY

It’s easy to beat yourself up. You compare yourself to friends or family members, even complete strangers. Your eyes will glance from your outfit to the next person’s ensemble, or you’ll compare your dinner with your Instagram feed’s never ending supply of food shots. Maybe you feel like you’re not moving up the ladder as quickly as you want, or that your love life could use some work.

We all do it. We all critique ourselves harshly, and with much more disdain than we’d ever consider judging another person with. We could tell you to just stop being so hard on yourself—and we are telling you to do that—but we also want to share this list with you.

It’s a list comprised of 20 reasons why you’re doing better than you think you are. On it: you question yourself, you can afford your morning cup of coffee, you have multiple outfits in your closet, and you’ve lost relationships.

• You paid the bills this month.
• You question yourself.
• You have a job.
• You have time to do something you enjoy.
• You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from.
• You can eat because you enjoy it.
• You have one or two truly close friends.
• You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning.
• You’re not the same person you were a year ago.
• You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum.
• You have a selection of clothing at your disposal.
• You can sense what isn’t right in your life.
• If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”
• You have a space of your own.
• You’ve lost relationships.
• You’re interested in something.
• You know how to take care of yourself.
• You’re working toward a goal.
• But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future.
• You’ve been through some crap.

Read the full list here.

By Wendy Rose Gould

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

We recently conducted a poll on The Stylish City website which asked readers to vote on their number one resolution for 2013. Now that we’re already seven months into the “new” year, it’s about time we got around to revealing — and talking about — the results.

We have to say that the poll answers definitely came as a surprise to us. Before we dig into the results, though, know that nearly 300 people participated in this poll, all of them readers of The Stylish City.

Out of those 300 votes, a whopping 31% (read: almost a third of voters) said that their ultimate resolution — the resolution they most wanted to keep — had to deal with their weight. In second place, with 23% of the votes, was “health.”

What we found most surprising, though, was that “relationships” came in with the lowest percentage with only 9% of the total vote. In between the lowest and the highest were as follows: Career/Job: 16%, Money: 11% and Organization: 10%.

Now, we understand that there’s a lot that can’t be answered in a simple poll. Maybe the readers of The Stylish City have super healthy relationships with their family, significant others, etc. and didn’t feel the need to set any goals or resolutions regarding that aspect of their life. The same can be said of our readers’ finances or organization skills. If that’s the case, serious props to the women who have their pecuniary ducks and relationship matters all in a row.

It does seem strange, however, that the “weight category” came in at number one, especially at 8 percentage points above the second most popular resolution of “health.”

Maybe I’m crazy, but wouldn’t you think that your health, in general, is the ultimate goal compared to simply maintaining your weight? Even if you’re trying to maintain weight, drop some L-B’s or gain a bit of muscle mass, the reason you’re doing that should ultimately be motivated by a desire to be healthy, right?

As I write this, though, I must admit that I can see how “weight” may soar to the top of the list, even above health. Not to go off on a tangent, but as someone who’s lost over 50 pounds in the past three years, I strived to become a healthier version of myself throughout that weight loss journey, yes, but what really drove me was a strong yearning to look in the mirror and be satisfied with my appearance. To be able to fit into the coveted size 6, to feel good and look good. I care about my health, but I tended to care more about inches/pounds lost and a dwindling dress size.

This all leads me to a question I have for The Stylish City readers, especially those who selected “weight” as their number one 2013 resolution:

Why did you select the answer you did? And now that we’re over half way into the year, how are you doing on that goal? Have your priorities shifted? Did you fall off the proverbial wagon? Or are you totally kicking butt? We’re dying to hear your thoughts/comments, so share them in the comment section below.

By Wendy Rose Gould

This past December, we shared some beauty and fashion-related trends that we here at The Stylish City are so over. For example, Micky Filip says low rise pants are unflattering on roughly 99.99% of the population, Caitlin Colford despises the sheer tees over black bras trend and Mirela Gluck just can’t understand the obsession with nail art.

While we don’t redact our distaste for cultural appropriation, dangerously high stilettos or jeans that give every wearer a muffin top, we have decided to embrace the nail art trend. Not just because everyone’s doing it, but for other reasons, too.

Let me just say that I began dabbling into the nail art trend a few years ago and since then have become quite obsessed. To clarify, nail art is any design on your nails that doesn’t involve one solid color on all 10 fingers. They could be as simple as eight pink nails and then two sparkly accent nails — or as difficult as the mona lisa painted on every single finger.

Regarding the latter, why spend so much time working on a tiny piece of art that chips and/or is removed by the wearer the next week? Let me explain.

It’s Fun and Relaxing

Painting my nails is one of the most fun and relaxing things I do. I admit that I sometimes spend hours working on one hand, but I think it’s a better use of time than mindlessly looking at Facebook. I consider every nail a mini canvas and am proud of the artwork created. One of my most impressive nail designs was my “famous painting nails” (which took 5-6 hours to create) and included Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe, Van Gogh’s Starry Night, Rene Magritte’s Son of Man, Edvard Munch’s Scream and Money’s Field of Poppies.

There’s a Community

I’m sure you follow blogs or belong to forums that cater to your interests, be they fashion, couponing, gardening or cooking. There are also communities of nail lovers out there who share their work with others. It’s fun to see and comment on what other people create and to get feedback on your own designs. My favorite nail community is Beautylish. You can also share on Pinterest and Instagram.

It’s a Form of Self Expression

Just like your dress or bag make a statement, so do your nails. For example, I am drawn to vintage nostalgia and retro colors, so I often incorporate those elements into my nail designs. Check out the two sets of vintage roses I painted below. One’s the standard mint green and pink while the other is blue and silver, but both are very fitting of my personality.

So Many Options

From real 24k gold nail polish (Deborah Lippmann) to stamping collections to glitters, mattes and liquid sand (Zoya and OPI) — there’s a nail polish for every one. In fact, WWD says that the nail care business is worth $1.6 billion big ones and continues thriving. In an attempt to snag as much business as possible, nail brands are coming up with the zaniest and coolest products. Buying and trying the new nail polish lines that come out on a near weekly basis is exciting (and admittedly expensive).

By Wendy Rose Gould

This is a tough one. Traditionally it has been expected that the guy should cover the cost of dinner when on a date. But, as in all areas of life, traditions fade gradually over time. With the rise of feminism and female empowerment, the issue is less clear cut today than it has ever been. Should a guy pay heed to an old chivalric obligation and foot the bill, or should a girl seek to be treated as an equal partner and split it?

In an effort to find some kind of consensus as to how the deal should go down, we asked a varied selection of men and women the simple question, “What’s your policy when it comes to picking up the check on a date?” After reading what our interviewees have to say you’ll be armed with some fresh insight to take with you on your next date!

A common response that came from the men we questioned went something like “the guy should always offer to pay.” If he offers to pay, he shows that he cares, but is willing to allow his date to make up her mind for herself. But this scenario still implies that the guy is in control of the situation. Is that agreeable for most women?

From those we spoke to, it seems so. “I personally prefer that the guy pays for the first date. I’m kind of traditional,” said one. Another expanded on this: “I like a guy who is willing to pay for the first two or three dates. I’m a little traditional and I don’t mind being shown that he’s putting in the effort. But on any date after that and I prefer to split the bill.”

So it seems many people prefer to at least pay lip service to tradition. But then the question becomes, how should a girl respond when the guy offers to pay the bill? Should she accept outright, make a quick offer to pay before accepting, or insist that the bill should be split?

“I’ll usually make some kind of counter-offer, like “I was thinking we might go out for coffee or drinks next time. Why don’t I cover that, and we’ll call it even?” said one of the women we asked. An interesting strategy, but this of course is assuming that the date went well, which we can all agree doesn’t happen all the time.

“As a girl I always offer to pay my half, if they say no I offer once more. If they still say no, then I offer to cover the tip or buy dessert later.” This was representative of a more common answer to our question. “I also keep the rule that if I can’t afford to cover my half then I don’t go on the date,” she added.

A few people had some rather interesting policies of their own. “If I ask anyone to have dinner with me, I always offer to pay, regardless of the situation,” one guy said. A couple of people shared this view, with another agreeing, “Whoever does the asking should pay, unless it’s a blind date or an internet first meet, in which case it should be split.”

As happens a lot these days, someone had to bring up the economy: “These days, it should be the employed one – or, if both are employed, the better paid one – who pays, unless they’re splitting.” Another girl added, “When means to pay are unequal I am a fan of switching, where the wealthier person pays for the more expensive dates which alternate with cheap dates – so fancy restaurant one night, pizza and a movie the next.” This implies that both parties are aware of each other’s pay grades however, which isn’t always likely to be the case on most first dates, and could lead to an awkward conversation.

A few quirky responses aside, the consensus seems to be that men should offer to pay, and women should either accept graciously or insist upon splitting it – either option is fine in most cases. Most of our guys didn’t seem put out by this either, unless their date is rude about it. “I am willing to pay for the first three dates, but if she doesn’t at least reach or offer, then that says a lot of negative things to me,” one man said. The general rule seems to be that the guy will pay for the first few dates until both become more acquainted and the issue of who pays what is no longer so awkward.

So, in spite of how far we have progressed and modernized as a society, the dating game seems to be the last haven of chivalry, where men can and should make their lady feel a little bit special for the night as they wine and dine together. That’s not such a bad thing, is it?