The First Move

Late Thursday night I stubbornly entered into a heated debate over when, if ever, it’s appropriate for a woman to make the first move. Advocates for the girl’s first move claim that as 21st century women indebted to pioneers of feminism, we are obligated to take advantage of our social freedom. They argue that women should go for what they want, seize the day, and so on and so forth. After all, some guys are shy and need a little encouragement.
The instance in question involved a friend named Sharon who kept running into a guy she was interested in. She knew he was single and suspected that he was interested in her as well. He even had access to her contact information but thus far, hadn’t pulled the trigger. She wondered if the next time she ran into him she should ask him out.

“Absolutely not,” I said. “If he were interested in you, he would ask you out. If he truly doesn’t have the courage to, then you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I want a date a guy who doesn’t have the balls to ask a girl out?'” Cowardice is not exactly an attractive quality especially in a potential mate. For me, the answer is simple: if a guy likes you, then he will ask you out?

That didn’t end the debate though. Female first move proponents contested that there are times you have to clinch own your destiny. And while I’m all about owning my fate, I’m also a bit old-fashioned. Maybe it’s my Midwest roots or my inner romantic, but I’d like a man who seizes the blessed opportunity to get to know me. Then if I so choose, I will seize back.

Emma Dinzebach

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Posted by Emma Dinzebach at 12:00 AM
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