How habitual routines make tiny building blocks for a reliable relationship.0
Friday evening I arrived at my friend’s house and was greeted by the sound of her husband vigorously shaking the martini shaker. Every Friday after work he makes her a cosmopolitan and they sit down for a rituals tic end of week happy hour.
“Honey?” she called out in a sing songy tone reminiscent of a Broadway musical. “Yes baby?” her husband responded sweetly. “He always says that,” she whispered to me. Back and forth they called out together in this fashion several times throughout the night. When I asked what has sustained their twelve year relationship, they both said consistent rituals play a large role. See also: things they can rely on.
From end of week happy hours to Sunday morning runs, different couples have different rituals of choice. We aren’t talking about Thursday night laundry or Sunday lawn mowing. Knowing there is a set time each week to enjoy interests creates a relationship based on commonality, reliability and stability. Likewise, sharing in your partner’s respective interests fosters caring, understanding and
By no means should you run out and buy a new golf outfit to tag along on your husband’s Saturday afternoon 18 holes. Individuality and personal time is still important; but small, consistent and meaningful routines build something good, into something great. When I thought about my own relationships, every Sunday we read the paper at brunch. When we go out to eat during the week, we always eat at the bar. He kindly accompanies me to yoga on Tuesday nights…well, most Tuesday nights. These small rituals might not seem significant in their own right, but they make one another feel special and create unity.
Plus, we never argue that we don’t have time for one another.
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