What women over 40 want

They say that after about three days, house guests, like fish, start to get old…quick. But like fish vary in stench, some house guests keep better than others. Some house guests are a pleasure. Such pleasurable house guests posed a sticky situation last month when my very dear friend asked if she could stay in my extra bedroom for a couple weeks while her apartment was being renovated. Without thinking or consulting my boyfriend, I excitedly agreed. This would be great.

For two weeks, we went to yoga, had dinner, and talked like the sisters we never had. My boyfriend played guilt free golf both weekend days. She walked our dog. On the second weekend, her landlord called saying her apartment was not ready. Thrilled to have her stay, I immediately told her yes. Upon relaying the news to my brother, he said, “You are letting her stay for three weeks and you wouldn’t even let me, your own brother, stay for four days?” As I rationalized away the distinction, I could feel his anger grow. We hung up the phone unhappy.

I recounted the conversation to my best friend who agreed. She said other people feel unwelcome in my home around the fourth day and pointed out that I had never lent her my car, my computer, or my cashmere pajamas.

When my boyfriend got home, he said he wanted her gone a week ago. It turns out he wasn’t reveling in her company as much as I was. In fact, he didn’t see her as the impeccable house guest I did. He pointed out faults and flaws I never saw, and requested kindly that she choose another friend “to invade.” How do you kick someone out when you already told them yes? When you already promised? Isn’t that horribly, horribly cruel?

I’m not sure the answer. I was honest with my friend and told her that while I loved having her, but it was getting a little tight in the apartment. My other friends were taken aback by my house guest inequality claiming I was unfair and rude. I considered explaining the rule of house guest equality, but quickly realized that was as crude as a stinky old fish. So I let it go, but if it comes again, I might hatch the rules. After all, shouldn’t friends who are stinky house guests become aware of their stench?
Emma Dinzebach

An element of romance accompanies times of war – love for our troops, dedication to our country, a fascination with foreign lands and lonely soldiers. The fashion industry uses this inspiration time and again as both accents and focal points in a continual resurgence of summer’s paramilitary trend.

Sporting the military trend takes too much testosterone for some women and tired khakis and repeat cargos create fatigue. To keep the look fresh, designers paired paramilitary pieces like strong shoulders, camel chinos and combat-inspired boots and sandals with more feminine pieces and exposed skin. See also: legs. Marc Jacobs, Louis Vuitton and DSquared² paired olive and camel toned military-inspired jackets with short skirts and dresses. The look replaces and updates the classic cardigan for breezy evenings or chilly air conditioning. For our part, we fell in love with Marc Jacobs expertly tailored coat and forest chiffon skirt and Aquilano.Rimoldi’s soldierettes in white (left). To try the look for less, check out Gilt.com’s McQ olive army blazer or the Ernie Brinie sample sale.
For footwear, all over Soho ladies are pairing the formerly intense footwear with floral dresses and feminine skirts. Elle editor Joe Zee says go ahead and rock cargo boots at the beach. To keep it light on the feet, try Rag & Bone’s beige canvas combat boot or beige strappy wedges.
Emma Dinzebach

We’re all about avoiding skin cancer. Duh. The younger you start tanning in the direct sunlight (or god forbid in a tanning bed!) the higher your chances of getting melanoma. If you just can’t embrace your god-given hue and the thought of putting your pasty body into a bathing suits makes you puke, then you’re forced to explore some sunless tanning options. That is, if you can fake it.

So if you’re going to fake it, here are the safest ways. Self-tanners leave you either stinky or smelling like a bagel bite. If you insist on self tanners, refer to our previous list. Spray tan also does the trick with two benefits: 1) Air brushed tans looks more even and real and 2) You can tone it up while you tan. Do you notice how dancing with the stars contestants look so ripped? That’s because they are airbrushed to look that way. Toning and sculpting in the privacy of your own home. (Most companies do make house calls, pop up this little tent thing and spray away.) Weary about spending the money? There are some tricks to extend air brushed tans. Visit tanning expert cosmetic company Au Courant’s blog for tips on how to get the most brown for your buck.

Air brushing is a sneaky form of faux self-improvement. You can’t will away wrinkles without Botox and you can’t make your hair fuller sans extensions. You can, however, make your skin naturally tan by laying at the beach for five hours and tone yourself through diet and exercise. Or you can just call your local air brush queen.

Emma Dinzebach

Earlier this week two Chinese criminal offenders were convicted of conspiracy to traffic counterfeit wallets, purses, handbags, and carry on luggage items. One of the biggest case in counterfeit goods in U.S. history, reportedly Chong Lam and Siu Yung Chan and others ran an complex international counterfeit ring including manufacturing, import, wholesale, and distribution of counterfeit Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Coach, Fendi, Chanel and Gucci products valued at a corresponding price of $100 million dollars.

What concerned us more than the actual suppliers of counterfeit goods was the demand. Consumers who create counterfeit demands are hurting designers, the industry, the city, and society in several ways.

Counterfeit bags are not a “bargain.” Sample sales, online sales and trunk shows are opportunities for the middle-class to experience beautifully crafted product for a “bargain.” When you purchase a designer product you know exactly where your money is going. (Leather, production, advertising, creation, distribution, etc.) Counterfeit bags lack craftsmanship, detail and quality; and when you purchase a counterfeit item, the cash money goes to drug cartels, child labor, and the perpetuation of dishonesty and disregard. Their eco-ignorant methods of production and transport hurt people, animals and our planet. People who sell counterfeit goods are neither tax payers nor contributing members of society. Conversely, people who purchase counterfeit goods are neither tax payers nor contributing members of society.

So you can’t pop down to Chinatown on your lunch break to find it, but when you do discover the piece you love (and can afford) the feeling with be forever worth it. Your style is a representation of you. How do you present yourself to others? Are you a cheap, faux leather bag with upside-down LVs? Or are you something worth treasuring?

Emma Dinzebach