The phrase “men’s rights” may be an unfamiliar one to you, maybe even a little funny to some, but know it’s a serious business to many. The idea started in the 1970’s, continued with the New Agey men’s movement of the ’90s, and picked up momentum over recent years online. As women fight to be granted more rights and power in society, the MRA movement is growing in both size and volume, as they refuse to tolerate being held down by the “harsh, unreasonable” demands of the feminist movement. While the movement does have some valid concerns (parental visitation, various reproductive rights and child custody) the overall tone of the bloggers on manosphere is one of lust and fury. A writer at GQ recently delved into this strange and fascinating realm, and it’s a read we highly recommend for, at a minimum, entertainment’s sake. He navigates the world of pick up artists (PUA), red pillers, and men (and women) who believe women get away with too much and that men need more protection from the world and their female counterparts. The story is loaded with commentary bound to shock you or amuse you, and expands on the mindsets of MRA members, including women who are dubbed “labia traitors.”
While the MRA makes up a very small piece of a very large pie, it’s still unnerving. Check it out.
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/big-issues/201503/mens-rights-activism-the-red-pill
Images Credit: GQ.com
It’s easy to beat yourself up. You compare yourself to friends or family members, even complete strangers. Your eyes will glance from your outfit to the next person’s ensemble, or you’ll compare your dinner with your Instagram feed’s never ending supply of food shots. Maybe you feel like you’re not moving up the ladder as quickly as you want, or that your love life could use some work.
We all do it. We all critique ourselves harshly, and with much more disdain than we’d ever consider judging another person with. We could tell you to just stop being so hard on yourself—and we are telling you to do that—but we also want to share this list with you.
It’s a list comprised of 20 reasons why you’re doing better than you think you are. On it: you question yourself, you can afford your morning cup of coffee, you have multiple outfits in your closet, and you’ve lost relationships.
- You paid the bills this month.
- You question yourself.
- You have a job.
- You have time to do something you enjoy.
- You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from.
- You can eat because you enjoy it.
- You have one or two truly close friends.
- You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning.
- You’re not the same person you were a year ago.
- You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum.
- You have a selection of clothing at your disposal.
- You can sense what isn’t right in your life.
- If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.”
- You have a space of your own.
- You’ve lost relationships.
- You’re interested in something.
- You know how to take care of yourself.
- You’re working toward a goal.
- But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future.
- You’ve been through some crap.
By Wendy Rose Gould
Image credit: Shutterstock.com
Rebecca Minkoff has released a digital video, “Love is in the Air” to celebrate Valentine’s Day this season. The video features Rebecca Minkoff alongside some of her stylish friends who share their thoughts on love for Valentine’s Day including love at first sight, soul mates, the feeling you get when you’re in love, and more.
The video features the following style influencers in order of appearance:
- Leandra Medine, Founder, The Man Repeller
- Annie Georgia Greenberg, Senior Style Editor, Refinery29
- Rebecca Minkoff, Co-Founder and Creative Director, Rebecca Minkoff
- Toast Meets World, Dog of The Fat Jewish/America’s Sweetheart
- Chelsea Leyland, DJ
- Amirah Kassem, Founder, Flour Shop
- Erica Domesek, Founder, P.S. – I Made This…
- Jessica Minkoff, Senior Editor, Teen Vogue
- Marina Muñoz, Stylist
Tune in to Rebecca Minkoff’s YouTube channel to view and share the video #RMVDAY.
About REBECCA MINKOFF
With a vision of building a lifestyle brand for the downtown romantic, San Diego-born designer Rebecca Minkoff founded her company in 2001 after she developed a small apparel line. She spent the next few years working on the small collection until 2005 when Rebecca developed the “Morning After Bag”. The bag became an overnight sensation and Rebecca began solely concentrating on developing additional styles to build out her romantically themed day-to-night handbag collection. After four years of consistent growth in accessories under her belt, Rebecca returned to her original love of apparel design and introduced a ready-to-wear collection in 2009. Rebecca Minkoff’s designs are a favorite for modern, trend-setting everyday women and celebrities alike.
Image credit: Rebecca Minkoff
Right now — thanks to Valentine’s Day coming up this Saturday — the world is dividing into three different camps. One camp is indifferent. “Valentine’s Day” they say. “Sure, OK. Whatever.”
The second camp, and we’re sure you’ve guessed it, has been awaiting February 14 with bated breath since February 15 last year. They’ve got it all planned out, from romantic dinners to fragrant rose bouquets, to wine, chocolate and the works.
And then… then there’s the snarky bunch. The people who despise cupid’s holiday. You may find them clenching their fists into the air, screaming, “But it’s just a consumerism tactic to boost sales!” or “Valentine’s Day is for suckers! Screw pretty flowers!”
Whatever camp you’re in, we think you may find a little humor in these snarky Valentine’s Day goods we’ve rounded up.
Despite This Being A Consumer-Driven Holiday Card
The Ex 5-Piece Knife Set with Limited Edition Chrome Holder
Chocolate-Covered Edible Bugs Gift Pack
Screw Valentines Day, Dance with a DOG Card
Bittersweets Valentine’s Day Candy
By Wendy Rose Gould
Image credit: via Amazon, UrbanOutfitters and Etsy
Recently, the Refinery29 gals decided to conduct their own social media-based experiment on “relationship visibility,” or the way we flaunt — or hide — our relationships on Facebook. The term “relationship visibility” is actually based on a well-known concept from The Science of Relationships referred to as “impression management,” which says that, according to our individual goals, we fabricate a certain perception to align with those goals.
This particular study used Facebook as its primary platform and set out to ask what our social media behavior says about not just our relationships, but our individual selves.
The hypothesis was a simple one: Anxious individuals, or those who are insecure in themselves or their relationship, are more likely to show off their coupledom via status updates and pictures. In other words, all those happy pictures of couples rubbing noses — and all those status updates about how Sally or Sam is the best S.O. in the world — may be a reflection of a.) insecurity and/or b.) wishful thinking.
In the end, researchers found that their hypothesis was, for the most part, accurate. Of course, there are some disclaimers, but that’s to be expected. Read more about the study here.
By Wendy Rose Gould
Image Credit: ShutterStock.com
John Galliano‘s story is one for the books. Once heralded as a fashion darling and lauded for his innovative designs, the British clothing designer was given a collective finger from the style world in 2011 after spewing anti-Semitic comments on camera. He was promptly fired as Dior‘s head designer, and was even fined $10,000. Ouch.
But that was four years ago. Though things aren’t perfect for Galliano, and though the climb back up to his castle has been a slow one, the formerly banished designer is back in the good graces of the fashion elite.
In October 2014, he was appointed as Maison Martin Margiela’s creative director, a move that ignited whispers ’round the fashion world. After Margiela’s January 2015 debut, though, whispers of concern melted into whispers of awe. With the Artisanal collection‘s delicate balance of fabrics and materials, impeccable craftsmenship and silhouettes that pique even the most seasoned style guru’s senses, one could say Galliano has officially made his comeback.
You may not be a fashion designer, and your “PR fiasco” may not be as epic in proportion, but you can learn from Galliano’s mistake if you’re trying to make a comeback.
Five Lessons to Learn from Galliano
Realize That Time Forgets All
Or at least understand that time forgets most things. There are new stories every single day — some outrageous, some infuriating, some exciting. People redirect their focus to new news and everything else becomes old hat. Sure, some people may never forget, but most will.
Make Friends With Powerful People
With Anna Wintour on his side, Galliano’s triumphant return to the fashion world was inevitable. She’s supported him throughout all these years and the friendship they’ve fostered is nothing to snub your nose at. Be an aggressive networker, yes, but do make sure you build genuine relationships along the way.
Give Yourself a Makeover of Massive Proportions
Back when Galliano made those comments, he was known for his wispy mustache, super bold brows and interesting hair choices. He dropped the flamboyant visage and has since perfected a streamlined, debonair persona. A makeover sends a signal to the world that you’ve changed.
Be Humble
Everyone makes mistakes. Apologize profusely, but move on when the time comes. Then after you’ve made your amends, move forward with an air of humbleness. People are drawn to, and more likely to forgive, a confident, but humble, person.
Impress Even Yourself
When you’re ready to make your comeback, pull out all the stops. Pour yourself into your work or whatever it is you’re striving for, and keep your foot on the gas even after you’ve passed the finish line. If you’ve given people reason to side eye you, they’re going to be even harsher critics than they’d be otherwise. The solution is to give them no reason to question and every reason to praise.
By Wendy Rose Gould
Image credit: Maison Margiela: Photo by Giovanni Giannoni, shutterstock.com
We recently conducted a poll on The Stylish City website which asked readers to vote on their number one resolution for 2013. Now that we’re already seven months into the “new” year, it’s about time we got around to revealing — and talking about — the results.
We have to say that the poll answers definitely came as a surprise to us. Before we dig into the results, though, know that nearly 300 people participated in this poll, all of them readers of The Stylish City.
Out of those 300 votes, a whopping 31% (read: almost a third of voters) said that their ultimate resolution — the resolution they most wanted to keep — had to deal with their weight. In second place, with 23% of the votes, was “health.”
What we found most surprising, though, was that “relationships” came in with the lowest percentage with only 9% of the total vote. In between the lowest and the highest were as follows: Career/Job: 16%, Money: 11% and Organization: 10%.
Now, we understand that there’s a lot that can’t be answered in a simple poll. Maybe the readers of The Stylish City have super healthy relationships with their family, significant others, etc. and didn’t feel the need to set any goals or resolutions regarding that aspect of their life. The same can be said of our readers’ finances or organization skills. If that’s the case, serious props to the women who have their pecuniary ducks and relationship matters all in a row.
It does seem strange, however, that the “weight category” came in at number one, especially at 8 percentage points above the second most popular resolution of “health.”
Maybe I’m crazy, but wouldn’t you think that your health, in general, is the ultimate goal compared to simply maintaining your weight? Even if you’re trying to maintain weight, drop some L-B’s or gain a bit of muscle mass, the reason you’re doing that should ultimately be motivated by a desire to be healthy, right?
As I write this, though, I must admit that I can see how “weight” may soar to the top of the list, even above health. Not to go off on a tangent, but as someone who’s lost over 50 pounds in the past three years, I strived to become a healthier version of myself throughout that weight loss journey, yes, but what really drove me was a strong yearning to look in the mirror and be satisfied with my appearance. To be able to fit into the coveted size 6, to feel good and look good. I care about my health, but I tended to care more about inches/pounds lost and a dwindling dress size.
This all leads me to a question I have for The Stylish City readers, especially those who selected “weight” as their number one 2013 resolution:
Why did you select the answer you did? And now that we’re over half way into the year, how are you doing on that goal? Have your priorities shifted? Did you fall off the proverbial wagon? Or are you totally kicking butt? We’re dying to hear your thoughts/comments, so share them in the comment section below.
By Wendy Rose Gould
Sometimes, I look at my two sultry felines and think to myself, “Wow. They really have it made.” And sometimes, just sometimes, I get a wee bit envious of their lavish catnaps on the fuzzy sheepskin rug in my bedroom, or the fact that they get free, organic food three times a day without having to lift a finger (or would that be paw?).
I’m getting off topic. Kind of. Only because instead of discussing cats, I’m writing today to talk to you about dogs. One dog, actually. A New York City poodle who goes by the name, “Charlie Girl.” This fabulous pooch lives an enviable life, as well, and is portrayed by her owner Elizabeth Frogel in her new, dynamic book, “Charlie Girl: Tails of a Very Original Poodle.” (Would that make her a VOP?)
The deluxe, illustrated book covers all the NYC shenanigans of a “lovable, curious and life-of-the-party poodle.” And yes — Charlie Girl is a real life dog whose owners are author Elizabeth and Elizabeth’s 10-year-old daughter Ava. Together, they live as a happy family in the Upper West Side art deco architectural icon, The Century.
A Little More About the Book:
Recalling the day Elizabeth brought her weeks-old puppy home to New York City, she beams, “During the ride back to town from the breeder, Charlie Girl was completely quiet and just nuzzled in my arms, but the minute we arrived in the City, she sat straight up and had this magical transformation. She was mesmerized by the lights. And she looked right into my eyes and smiled. I knew at that moment Charlie Girl would love New York and that we would have a great life together.”
Today (and in the book), Charlie Girl takes advantage of all the fun her glamorous city has to offer. From long sidewalk strolls with mom, frolicking with her puppy pals, going shopping, dining on delicious food, and taking in art exhibits, Charlie Girl is one happy canine.
The stylish watercolor illustrations by Ashley Quigg are inspired by the décor of Elizabeth’s apartment, historic and contemporary photographs.
A Little More About Elizabeth:
Elizabeth’s accomplishments were propelled by what she describes as “survival mode.” Divorce turned her life upside down, as it does with most people, but there was no self pity, only forward movement. She took charge and committed heart and soul to creating what is now the happiest time of her life.
Divorce allowed Elizabeth to live at her authentic best, and with encouragement from her family and a loyal group of strong friends, Elizabeth’s life started to shine like the Chrysler Building. Charlie Girl evolved out of sheer love. During the emotionally charged years when Elizabeth was trying to conceive a child, she developed her special bond with Charlie Girl, who served as a constant companion and partner in NYC adventures. Charlie Girl the book captures the essence of that pinnacle time.
Where to Buy:
Head to Bergorf-Goodman (who happens to be a character in the book, as well) if you’re interested in flipping through the pages or buying. Bergorf-Goodman is the exclusive NYC department store carrying Charlie Girl.
Not lucky enough to live near NYC’s Bergdorf-Goodman? The book is also available online at Amazon.com.
Charlie Girl supports the Puccini Foundation, which is dedicated to the hope of a future for pets and people – cancer free under one umbrella.
I love the concept of the Charlie Girl book because it’s lighthearted and breezy. I think we all need more lighthearted and breezy things in our lives, especially in a world where urgent deadlines reign supreme and coffee is gulped down for its caffeine properties (instead of enjoyed for its smooth textures and rich aromas. Hey, I’m a coffee and an animal person).
By Wendy Rose Gould
By this point in the 21st century, it’s safe to assume that most people are already aboard the social media bandwagon. Still, many men and women find themselves unskilled when it comes to dating in this fast paced world of interactive media. From Facebook friendships to Foursquare check-ins to Twitter play-by-plays, it’s time to wise up to what’s acceptable — and what’s not. A recent post by Mashable detailed 10 essential tips for dating in the social media age. We’ve highlighted five of them below.
1. Don’t “Like” or Comment on Everything
Comment on discussions, statuses or links that intrigue you, but avoid commenting or “liking” for the sake of making your presence known. In other words, only contribute if you have something valuable to offer.
2. Facebook Stalking
Just don’t do it. If it’s an ex, you’ll just get sad. If it’s a current interest, you’ll find it’s much nicer to ask about his day instead of reading about it.
3. Friending His Pals
This is also a social media faux pas, as is adding his family.
4. Twittering Etiquette
Do not, I repeat, do not, Twitter about your date while you’re on a date with him. If you must, Twitter about things after you’ve parted. And leave out the steamy details.
5. Breaking Up
It’s no secret that our lives are much more public today than they were in the past. If you’ve called it quits with your ex-beau, try to be the first to change the relationship status and then make it private or delete the activity. If you see a friend’s recently split, be kind and refrain from commenting on the activity.
Discover the remaining five dating tips at Mashable.com.
By Mirela Gluck
It is within our nature as humans to disagree on general topics; politics, religion, war, capital punishment, etc. Suffice it to say, there is hardly an issue you can’t make into an argument. On Thursday, November 24th, 2011, all Americans alike will gather around the dinner table to give thanks and finally reach common ground, agreeing on one simple notion – family can be a huge pain in the ass. Despite whom you may place under the title of “family,” whether it is close friends, in-laws, or blood relatives, these people have the natural, inexplicable ability to grate your nerves to the umph degree.
There are good days and bad, times where you couldn’t love your family more and times where you can’t seem to get far enough away from them, therefore where your feelings are on November 24th is a real crap shoot. The thought passes through my realm of consideration some years, namely this one – should I just skip Thanksgiving? I start to believe my own prepared lie that I can tell my family on the phone, an hour or two before dinner: “I think I’m coming down with something and don’t want to get the baby sick.” Ordering greasy Chinese food and snuggling up on the couch with my dog while watching RomComs in my pajamas, begins to sound simply too good to pass up. Cough, Cough – see, I am getting sick! I then justify that spending Thanksgiving isn’t pathetic because my dog is family, and at times the only living being I can tolerate all while receiving unconditional love. I follow this with a sigh of relief when I realize that if I do skip Thanksgiving I don’t have to put on foundation and blush, and force a smile while I answer the same obnoxiously condescending question – “Where is your boyfriend?” That’s a good question Aunt Elba, maybe you can help me find him? There is simply no other inquisition that can make my blood boil as much as this. I have to fight the urge to not snap back with, “Why don’t you have a mirror Aunt Elba? Because that certainly is the only rational explanation for those three inch chin whiskers of yours.”
What am I thinking!? It takes a cold shower and some deep breathing to jolt myself back to logical thinking. In reality, skipping Thanksgiving is just not an option. These fantasies exist in the majority with some variation, and in the end is just a dreamlike tool utilized to make you appreciate crossing the Thanksgiving finish line to tomorrow. Friday can go on
e of two ways. The first being, a day of pure, unadulterated nothingness, where it’s acceptable to sleep late, nosh on leftovers and indulge in being lazy. Or the second option: diving in head first to Black Friday mania. Shopping can be a great form of stress release. If Aunt Elda got way too far under your skin then take it out on your credit card! Stimulate the economy and buy yourself something fabulous.
Don’t think you’re flying solo when you sit twiddling your thumbs, considering the Chinese food alternative to Thanksgiving – we’ve all been there. Thanksgiving is no day to spend alone; you’ll only make yourself feel worse. Put on your best smile and take everything said with a grain of salt, at the end of the night you’ll be glad you forced yourself to go. On Wednesday, get yourself a new outfit and a fresh shade of lipstick and knock your family’s socks off as you walk through the door on Thanksgiving Day. You’ll look good and feel good as you’re wowing the crowd – and hey, it’s only one night, you have a day of bliss tomorrow to look forward to.
By Caitlin Colford