New York City

Bird Feces, Foreskin, Fish & Snakes: Shocking Stocking Stuffers?

8 December 2008

Ok, we have all tried eating “all organic” and buying the most natural products in order to be healthy.  When we see organic cotton, organic beauty products and other organic or all natural stuff we think “hey, why not? Its healthy!”. Well, we should have just stopped there, But nooo, some people decided to take “Au Naturel” to a WHOLE NEW level. Check out these trends in beauty and let us know if you would like your stockings stuffed with any of the followings. 

Geisha Facial at Shizuka Spa: This facial treatment claims to “make the porcelain beauty of this Japanese icon accessible to the everyday person.” WOW, that’s sounds great.  Their web site states that this facial treatment has “all natural ingredients”. Then they list this:  “All-natural ingredients, including Japanese Rice Bran and Uguisu no Fun (sterilized Nightingale Droppings), brighten and soften the complexion with their natural enzymes.” Ok, I get the rice bran, I struggled with the Uguisi no Fun .. then I see sterilized Nightingale!? For those that need that simplified: BIRD POOP! They got the second part of the Japanese name of this right: NO FUN! For those who don’t mind have bird poop smothered on their face in order to achieve a Geisha-like face, then they can enjoy this wonderful service for ONLY $180!

Shizuka New York
7 West 51 Street, Sixth Floor
New York, NY 10019 (212) 644-7400

If you thought bird poo is weird, I wonder what you think about foreskin extract to reduce wrinkles? With all the pressure of having skins as soft as a baby’s bottom, and a face smoother than a glass surface, it’s no wonder people resort to anything that will give them results. You have the botox and the restylane, and hey, I am all for having fat removed from my tooshie and putting it in my face if that will have me fitting in my old size 2 jeans and a wrinkle free face. BUT.. to have someone’s baby’s foreskin in my face cream is a bit much.. no? For those who are daring and don’t mind young boys leftovers after their manhood is trimmed and snipped, they can check out SkinMedica’s TNS Skin Recovery Complex.  
Beauty pressure is tough and everyone looks for new treatments to look younger, feel better, and be healthier. Well , weird treatments aren’t only for the face. Take the Fish Pedicure phenomena: Tiny carp munch on your calluses and dry skin. The result: soft feet. So is this pedicure really hygienically safe?  Many people don’t seem to mind; if you don’t either and happen to be in the D.C. area, then head on over to Yvonne Hair and Nails salon and feed the fish. 

Since we are on the topic of fish, why not talk about snakes? Stressed, tired, achy muscles? Let these slithery friends massage your sore spots. Israel is the pioneer in Snake Massages; Ada Barak’s spa in northern Israel offers this serpent therapy for $80. The snake is supposed to be a symbol for medicine. Ever heard “what kills you can also cure you”? Then again, we won’t travel to the Holy Land just have snakes slither all over us. Would you?

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Posted by at 06:00 AM
bargain news , BEAUTY , STYLE/BEAUTY |

One thought on “Bird Feces, Foreskin, Fish & Snakes: Shocking Stocking Stuffers?

  • December 9, 2008 at 12:25 am

    I really wish you wouldn’t make light of genital mutilation.

    The foreskin includes over half a male’s specialized pleasure-receptive nerve endings. In the adult it amounts to about 15 square inches of exquisite sensual interface.

    The infants contributing DNA to TNS creme have been robbed of healthy normal body parts. It’s literally illegal to compensate them or sell the harvested tissue, but doctors DO get “handling” fees for turning over the human body parts – around $50 per victim. The law DOES NOT require this financial arrangement to be disclosed to the victim’s family.

    If you are not ill at this point, you’d better check your pulse for a conscience.

    95% of the non-Muslim world does not circumcise. Foreskin feels REALLY good. HIS body HIS decision.


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