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...And Guest by Elizabeth Sowden

Episode 13

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21 March 2007

The envelope, ripped and empty, lay under Allison’s coffee table. It had a gold lining and two embossed gold rings on the flap. She sat on the couch with Mitchie in her lap, staring at the invitation. It was addressed to Allison and guest. This would be the first time she saw her family since her divorce, since she had become an and guest.

“Where am I going to find a date?” Allison moaned.

“You don’t need a date,” Kyoko said, “Its just a wedding.”

Allison gave Kyoko a sharp look. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. Look, this is a southern wedding, where you have a bride’s cake and a groom’s cake and no woman, unless she’s a widow or ugly, shows up without a date.”

“Well, maybe you can hire someone,” Kyoko said, “like in The Wedding Date.”

“That movie sucked,” Roxie grumbled.

“Well…that’s not the worst idea…but what difference does it make if I even have a date if I show up empty handed?”

“What do you mean?” Roxie asked.

“Everything on her registry has been bought already. The only thing that is left is a set of three thousand dollar champagne flutes, and I can’t afford that! What do I get for her?”

“Condoms,” Roxie muttered.

“Roxie!” Allison gasped. Kyoko laughed.

“Who’s the guy?” Kyoko asked.

“His name is Marcello. He’s Italian—from Italy. He was a foreign exchange student at her school.”

Roxie and Kyoko exchanged glances. “Get her a Pizelle iron .”

“A what?”

“Its like a waffle iron but instead of waffles it makes those flat cookies, like they have in Little Italy.”

“Ooh, I like those!”

“Yeah,” Roxie piped in, “and with an Italian mother in law, your cousin will have to spend the rest of her life trying to make pizzelles as good as hers. So she might as well start now, right?”

“She’s also going to need a pasta machine, a biscotti pan, and a quality rolling pin to bash him in the head when he comes home smelling like Chanel.”

“I can’t afford all that stuff!” Allison exclaimed.

“That’s why you buy them on sale, duh.” Roxie said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, great, now that we’ve solved the gift problem, how on God’s green earth am I going to find a date?”

Writen by: Elizabeth Sowden


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