Scarlett O'Hara of the Upper East Side

I'll never be lonely again!

0
29 August 2007

Allison sat on her couch, eating crackers and warm brie, watching Gone with the Wind. Tears welled up in her eyes as Scarlett lay in bed, crying for Rhett.

“Oh, Mitchie,” Allison said to the tiny white Yorkie that lay sleeping on her chest, “Why couldn’t I find love like that?” Graciela had called earlier and invited her to come dancing in Queens, but she’d said no. She told Graciela that she felt like staying in. Now she felt like the couch was giving her a wedgie and that she’d seen this movie so many times it was losing its effect on her.

In her mind, Allison was Scarlett: a genteel Southern Belle with an eye for fashion and a way with men…at least she had been, before she met her ex-husband. All the boys used to drive up to Allison’s front porch, and sit and have a glass of lemonade, maybe a slice of freshly baked red velvet cake, and watch the sunset over the hills. When she was seventeen, she sometimes had three dates in one day. A baseball game in the daytime, dinner in the evening and a late movie at night, and with a different guy each time. She wrote their names on a slip of paper she kept in her purse so she wouldn’t mix them up. Now, she didn’t have any dates at all. She used to have dates with Tom and Ted. Now her only dates were with Tivo and Tassimo. Is this what she would be like in 40 years? Still reliving her prom queen years and eating cheese? Had she used up her quota? Were you allotted so many dates per lifetime, and once your husband left you for a skanky cheese shop maiden, you were SOL?

She sighed. Suddenly she couldn’t believe she had turned down Graciela’s invite to go dancing at a salsa club in Queens. Did she really think she would find the man of her dreams among the Fresh Direct delivery boys who brought her fresh cheese and grapes every day? She hit the remote, set the snoozing Mitchie in her bed, and got dressed.

“As God as my witness,” she declared as she shimmied into a Diane Von Furstenberg dress, “I’ll never be lonely again!”

Writen by: Elizabeth Sowden


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